The other day I was chatting with a dear friend on the patio. We were sitting outside on a beautiful summer afternoon, enjoying the landscape and the nature surrounding us.
I was telling her how I have begun a journal of love letters to myself in my personal quest to fall madly ill love with myself. More on that another time. As part of my learning, I purchased flowers for myself.
The flowers were beautiful different shades of purple, lilies and small little deep purple flowers. I showed her a picture of them. They really did brighten my day. She commented on how beautiful they were and we continued our discussion.
Buying myself flowers and learning to love myself the way I want to be loved, is an important part of my journey. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband with all my heart. over the years he has shown me what true love is and how deeply we can love.
As we sat and talked we ended up talking about different types of flowers and how wonderful it feels to receive them. She talked about getting roses. How they are the symbol of love, friendship. How they are revered, velvet soft, layer upon layer adding to it’s mysterious beauty. The scent of a rose is one of a kind, easy to identify and difficult to replicate. They are expensive, a very special treat, a sing of the finer things in life, like love, family and friendship.
That’s when it dawned on me. Once again, I was only allowing myself to indulge a little. If I were on a quest to love my husband, a friend, one of my kids, I wouldn’t hesitate to purchase the roses. In fact, I wouldn’t even think twice about it. Why, because I have placed a high value on them.
Yet when it comes to me, lilies and a $10.00 budget. I’m not saying I’m cheap when it comes to myself, but in so many way’s that’s exactly what I’m saying. When it comes to loving myself, my old habit is to cut corners, make excuses and settle for good enough.
That’s not going to cut it anymore. I want roses. I want to look in the mirror and be revered, to see the woman looking back and think, how exquisite. Please don’t misunderstand, I am not talking about becoming conceited. Far from it. What I am suggesting, is that when I think of myself, what I want and how I want others to treat me; I want to know that I love myself first. Which means I am no longer dependent on what others may or may not see or think.
A rose does not need another flower to tell her she’s beautiful, she already knows. She doesn’t flaunt it, instead she is confident to stand alone. She has what she needs. She has thorns to protect her from the things that could harm her. The rose accepts the beautiful creator, is a reflection of the light in the world and shines bright from the inside out.
Maybe you are a free flowing daisy right now. Each flower has it’s won beauty and holds a special purpose. But it’s my belief that deep inside of each of us, is a rose. Let your rose out, with an open heart.
It’s ok if you are scared. I do understand. If you don’t want to go it alone, or maybe you don’t even know how to begin, reach out to me. Comment below or shoot me an email. I’ll be more than happy to help you find the rose that may be buried deep inside your heart.
You are worth more than roses, more beautiful than a dozen roses and you are exquisite.