Life’s Lessons

Break Free

April 27, 2013 by hgbischoff Leave a Comment

“Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Hebrews 12:3

This is one of several scriptures that surround my work space to help keep my perspective where it needs to be. Truth be told, some days I need to consider this more than others. Today is one of those days. Have you ever found yourself to be in the situation where you have given your all, worked as hard has you could on a project and given nothing in return? You did it because you enjoyed the work and hoped that one day it would pay off?

Today is not that day for me. However, I am confident that “that” day is coming. Here is another scripture to tuck away,

“But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.” Jeremiah 17:7

In my mind it plays out in a picture; imagine you are in a glass box. Everyone can see what you are doing. They see your sweat, tears, determination, perseverance, your good as well as your bad but they keep you in the box so they can set limits on you. Keep you contained so to speak. You cannot escape yet you have so much more to learn, to give. Then one day you find that you had the necessary tool to break free from the box with you all along. It’s that determination and perseverance that gives you the strength to break the glass, spread your wings and soar like you know you can. I don’t want to be contained, I have too much that I need to do, so much left in me that needs to be shared with you and the rest of the world. That’s the great thing about perspective. We can’t see all the great options we have when we are focusing on our circumstances. It is only when we take the time to move our circumstance out of the way; that we gain the right perspective to redirect our steps and reach our goals.

Generally speaking, other people don’t want to see you succeed because they are afraid of what that means for them. We live in a self serve world. But take it from me, YOU do YOU best. Allowing someone other than you to put limits on your potential, your dreams, keeps you from fulfilling what God has created in you. So break free, dare to dream; have the courage it takes to step out in faith and follow your heart.

Avoid Identity Crisis

April 11, 2013 by hgbischoff Leave a Comment

Over the years I have counseled many women and teen girls. It has amazed me to see how we as people often tie our identity to objects that are not meant to give us our identity . I can remember counseling this one woman in particular. She was an older woman, who had been married several times. I can’t recall the exact number but it was more than five. Each one of her marriages ended in divorce and each time she would marry another man similar to the former.

After several counseling sessions, it occurred to me that she had no idea “who” she was. She had sought to find her identity through her husbands, but came up empty handed every time. When I asked her what her role was in these marriages she had no idea and responded, “no one has ever asked me that before”.

Though counseling and mentoring people I have seen quite often, that we fail to figure out our identity. So what is “identity”? Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary describes identity as: the distinguishing character or personality of an individual. Perhaps, the best way to define identity is to look in the mirror.

Often times we fail to distinguish our true identity, partly because we are looking in the wrong places. We fall for the lies of society, that we are our work, what our family/friends say, or we are identified as our hobby. But what happens when we no longer have that specific job or are able to continue with said hobby? Similar to my counselee, when we lose the very “things” that we believe give us identity; we find ourselves in an identity crisis. Oftentimes, making the same choices over and over. To avoid an identity crisis, here are few simple suggestions you can try:

ü Take time for self-examination, often:

This is one of the best activities you can do for yourself. Taking an introspective look at yourself helps you find where you need to stretch and grow. If you don’t like what you are seeing, change it! You are the only person who can. What’s even better is finding a mentor or accountability partner (of the same gender), who will help you stick to the goals you have set.

ü Seek out time to meditate or pray daily:

Again, whether you are a busy mom or business professional taking just a few minutes before you begin your day will make all the difference. Through meditation or prayer you can frame out the day ahead so that you can be true to yourself. This is also a great practice to help you mentally prepare for issues that could get you off the track that you have planned.

ü Do something that you gives you joy:

You love your family and friends, so you want to be with them. Be careful not to fall in the trap where they decide who you are, and who you can be. Remember that at the end of your life you are responsible for you and your choices; no one else. You decide what you like and what you don’t. Adventure is what you make of it, so don’t be afraid to try new things and spend time doing what you truly enjoy.

ü Make memories with family and friends:

Generally people mean well and don’t purposely take up all of your time. It is my belief that life is a journey; we can either fight it or buckle of and enjoy the ride! Thus, take the time to find what you want to spend your time doing. Your friends and family have their own identities; you may not always like the same things. That’s probably the reason that you enjoy their company. Don’t feel obligated to attend every function, just because. Do things that you enjoy, time is precious and so are you!

It’s been my experience that when we know “whose” we are that we are confident in “who” we are. Now it’s your turn! What do you do to support your identity separate from the “things” that you do? Looking for more on this topic? Contact us!

Polka dots and Stripes

April 3, 2013 by hgbischoff 2 Comments

Picture this, my husband and I lying in bed this morning all warm and cuddled. On second thought scratch that, please don’t picture my husband and I in bed. Let me start over again.

This morning my husband was wide awake at 7:00 AM and I guess he expected me to be as well. When I didn’t jump out of bed like I think he wanted, he seemed a bit frustrated. He needed me to get some information for him and thought that I understood that he needed this last night. Really not a big deal, as much as I hate to admit it I am pretty organized and usually put everything in its place. So he asked me where he might find what he was looking for and I told him where to look. To my surprise it wasn’t there. Now I am slightly annoyed because it’s really early and it should be there. Oh and now I have to get out of bed to help him find it. We look together and come up empty handed. He needs to get ready for work as do I; he jumps in the shower and I’m thinking, “That’s what I was about to do!” Of course now that I can’t get ready for work, because he’s in the shower, I do what any normal person would do; go back to bed. I guess that was the wrong thing to do because when he gets out of the shower and I jump in I can hear “things” being said in regard to my actions. It probably would have been better for me to keep looking while he was preparing for his day.

By this time, I am just a teensy bit more irritated. In my head I am thinking of where I could have put what he was looking for and decide that I must look for it before he leaves because he needs it. Getting out of the shower he reminds me of when he thinks I may have had it last and I figured well maybe it is in my work bag. So I wrap a towel around me and stomp downstairs as any lady would. Pretty much dump out my bag and what we are looking for is not there. The irritation level just rose a bit more. This is usually when my family disappears before I erupt. I’m not happy about this but it seems like when I get irritated I see everything around the house that they haven’t done for the last week. For example, my daughter left a cup in the bathroom, dishes left in the sink, a glass had been left on the table for two days and you see where I’m going. By this time my husband can see that I am really irritated, mostly at myself for not putting the item back where it goes. He is very calm and says don’t worry we will find it later. Then he and our daughter leave.

I’m alone in the house and steaming. I still need to get ready for work and can’t stop looking; yet I am irritated that I am now running late for work. Knowing that I need to put it in high gear, I let the dog out and head back upstairs. Another attempt to look for the item is unsuccessful so I figure that I need to through some clothes on. Yeah, still wrapped in a towel this whole time and now I am talking to myself out loud!

My friend owns her own boutique, it’s called JenDaisy. Earlier this summer I purchased this skirt that I love from her store. It is a maxi skirt that has teal and white stripes. This skirt is one of my favorite things in my closet. Being the planner that I am, I usually plan to wear light colored panties with this skirt because sometimes colors can bleed through. Since my morning had not gone as planned I didn’t have time to even think about the panties that I was wearing and selected dark blue polka dot panties for the day. You probably see where this is going, but it gets better.

It’s really getting late and I need to get out the door. Through some clothes on, including my favorite maxi skirt, run downstairs let the dog in make my coffee, (which looks darker than normal) and head out the door. Phew. I am still running behind schedule and ranting slightly to myself, again out loud, in the car. I get on the road and am thinking to myself, “the coffee will make it all better”, take a sip and it tastes terrible!! More ranting and driving, somehow I have made it to work in one piece.

My morning is beginning to look up and a resident comes to my office. I work with older adults in the “real” world. I made a few copies or printed something off and bent over to get the paper from the printer. I noticed the resident had a grin and became very quite. Just going along with whatever, we finish what we were talking about and they are on their way. Then it hits me, “Heather you’re wearing dark blue polka dot panties under your teal and white striped skirt!!” What’s a girl to do at that moment but literally laugh out loud.

Long story short, life is going always present you with circumstances. If you’re only focused on order and control in your life; you will miss out on precious moments like wearing polka dots and stripes. Learn to laugh, take a breath and know that the only thing in life that you can control… is you.

Break Free

Avoid Identity Crisis

Polka dots and Stripes

About Heather

Dragonfly Direction LLC

About Heather

Dragonfly Direction LLC

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