Have you ever wanted something so bad that you could see it, taste, feel it but there was something that seemed to be standing in your way of actually achieving it? I have, and I’d like to tell you a brief story about my friend, let’s call her Danni, who figured out how to get over this road block.
Danni is an accomplished woman. Anyone who knows her would describe Danni as a thoughtful, caring, compassionate woman who would give you the shirt off her back if she felt that you needed it more than she did. I’m guessing you may be or have a friend like her. One evening we were at a local restaurant, sitting by the fire, sharing a bottle of wine and catching up as old friends do. During the course of our conversation, I noticed that she didn’t seem to have any drive or passion in the way she was talking about her life. I asked her if she was ok and her reply, “I’m exhausted!”
In that moment, she had finally said something real. I could tell that there was a part of her that was relieved, yet scared that she had admitted something that she hadn’t allowed herself to share with anyone else. Reassuring her, that it was ok, we took the opportunity to explore what was happening behind the scenes that she wasn’t acknowledging.
When I first met Danni, she had so much passion and determination to make a difference in the world. While she always struggled with taking time for herself over others, there still was a drive to do something spectacular with her life. I asked her what happened to that drive. Her response, was no surprise to me, though a welcome reminder.
Tears streaming down her face, her voice a little shaky, the words, “I lost my passion.”. Passing a tissue across the table and grabbing her hand, I smiled at her and said, “Let’s go find it.” She looked at me, smiled back and asked, “How?”.
How is a great place to begin if you have lost your passion. Sometimes we are so focused on a goal, dream or desire that we forget to let go and allow the path to come to us. We are out in the world with a fierce effort to make something happen that we actually strangle our own dreams. Which can lead to a downward spiral that gets us absolutely nowhere.
After exploring Danni’s situation further, I learned that she had always wanted to do something that allowed her to share her care and compassion with others. She was going through the motions as if she wanted to move forward. Yet, found that when it came down to making decisions that would move her in the direction of her desires, and standing up for her self; she felt paralyzed. Thus she did nothing but repeat the cycle. Feeling completely overwhelmed, unworthy, and defeated. I shared these few steps with her to help her along on her path to a life that honors her, her dreams and provides fulfillment.
- Take action. Though it may sound simple or terrifying, if you want to manifest any change in your life, you must do something and do something different.
- Work hard and let go. You may not have the foggiest idea how to get from point A to point B to see your dream become a reality, but that doesn’t have to stop you from working hard. If you desire to write a book, take classes and learn how to write a book, if you want to be the best guitar player, study and do what you can. You don’t have to have all the pieces, connection or information in place to move forward. Simply be the best you can in this moment and let the rest come to you.
- Gain Perspective. Over and over again I see people putting other’s needs, dreams and desires before their own. This is a Biblical principal, it is good but in our humanness we muck it up. Think of it this way, if we alway, key word always, put other people before ourselves, drop everything when someone asks for a favor, what message are we sending them? Sometimes we need to put our own needs first. If we don’t, we find ourselves in Danni’s situation, completely lost and exhausted. Remember to pamper yourself from time to time, meditate, read, learn, and relax.
- Have Faith. When you have no clue what the next step is, have faith that you have done everything in your power to be your best. Sometimes we hold on so tight that we don’t allow anything new to come into existence. When you know that you have given 100% and are all in, we must create space for faith. If you think you will have everything perfect and know all the answers, scenarios then you aren’t open to the creativity and mystery of life. Chill out and have faith that if a desire or dream was planed in your heart than it will happen at the exact right time.
- Ask for help when needed. The only reason this one is difficult for people is due to their ego and pride. Let’s be honest, we all have each of those things. As humans we require some community. Put your ego aside and ask for help when you are stuck, have exhausted all other resources and need assistance. We weren’t meant to travel the road of life alone. We need people and their experiences, they need us too. It’s not a sign of weakness, and no one expects us to have all the answers. Like Danni, when we are honest with ourselves and have tried to move forward but get stuck, that’s when we can ask for help.
A few weeks after Danni and I got together she called me, very excited to tell me that she was back on track. She had been taking time for herself, which meant she had to say no to people more than she liked, but the result was totally worth it. The sound of her voice was full of energy and passion again. She told me that while she hadn’t quite figured out her next step yet, she was taking time to explore lots of options and felt clearer and clearer each day. She thanked me for taking the time to have a real conversation with her and that she couldn’t wait for our next hangout.
What are you facing today? Are you strangling your dreams? Are you leaving room for the creativity and mystery of life to come into your world? Do you constantly overthink, over plan and find yourself feeling unaccomplished at that end of the day? Perhaps you could pull out that old journal that you haven’t touched in ages, and begin keeping track of what is working and what isn’t as well as what action you took that day to move toward your dreams. If you are brave enough to take on this challenge please share your comments, experiences and advice below. I love hearing from you.