Have you ever been in the situation where you said or responded in a way that seemed completely reasonable to you, when to your surprise you learn that it is not reciprocated at all the way you expected? Yeah, I think we’ve all been there at least once in our life. While many rules and expectations are voiced, it’s the unspoken rules that can be the most dangerous.
The unspoken rules are the ones that we are supposed to know. Each family, culture and ethnicity seems to have them. We experience them in religious circles, healthcare, and in about every other area of our life. We usually realize we didn’t get the memo when someone responds to us with the all to famous; “You didn’t know that?!” Oh, the dismay. So how are we supposed to know, when it’s rare that anyone will actually talk about the unspoken rules? I think I may have a solution.
It may seem obvious but when you have a feeling that you may be doing or saying something that isn’t the “norm”, ask someone. Trust your gut. It’s usually spot on. What I really want to unpack today is the unspoken rules and exceptions about how we live our lives. Hear me out.
There were unspoken rules in my home growing up, at no fault of my parents. Our home was probably just like many of your homes growing up. My parents were both blue collar workers and it seemed to me that I too was expected to be a blue collar worker. I don’t think that’s necessarily what my parents wanted, but it was an unspoken expectation. After all if you look at the American history, most blue collar workers bred more blue collar workers and white collar workers the same. So how the heck did I end up where I am? I’m so glad you asked!!
When I was 19 I had the opportunity to work chair side in a local dental office. It was certainly a step in the right direction, after all I wasn’t technically in a factory. Up until that point in my life I knew I wanted to do something grand, helping women but I had absolutely no idea how or if that was even possible. That’s when Dr. DDS helped me to see the reality of what my then, new husband, had been telling me for years. How?
He was a small town kid, not that much older than me, who grew up not that far away from me. He was not that different than me. The difference, he wanted to be a dentist and decided to get educated to make that dream a reality. Mind blowing for me. In that moment it really became real that I didn’t have to be a chair side assistant for the rest of my life, I could actually do ANYTHING. Yeah, it would take some time, dedication, money and lots and lots of support from family and friends. Totally doable.
Why is this important? I know that there is someone who came across this post and is being held prisoner by the unspoken rules they grew up with, face everyday at a job or in a a relationship. I sincerely believe that you get in life what you allow. If you have dreams of doing something or being someone else, then do it. It’s that simple.
It doesn’t matter if you come from money and a family heritage of several generations with high expectations or if you are on the opposite end of the spectrum. It’s YOUR life. I know that our families can be the hardest to convince of that; but at the end of the day, you are responsible for you. If you take anything at all from this post, my hope is it’s this: try something new, activate your passion, search for it if you can’t find it and when you do, run after it. Run like hell and don’t stop until you are living the life of your dreams.