Being vulnerable showed me that it was/is okay to be scared at times. It means that I don’t have to control every situation, task, or person in my circle of influence. Which in turn means that I can rest in the truth that there are times in my life that I can allow others to care for me. Oh yeah, I really did just write that and I hope you will let that sink in for a moment.
As human beings we are naturally wired to care for others in some way, or at least the majority of us. My family would tell you that I really like my home to be somewhat orderly and neat. They would also tell you this is the one thing that I complain about the most. It’s a real pain point for me. One morning earlier this week, I walked down the stairs and noticed that the kitchen and family room had been all cleaned up, dishes cleaned and put away, the trash had been taken out and the family room was left very neat and tidy. I was home alone and knew that I didn’t do this. My heart was overjoyed that the house was neat and I didn’t have to do it or bark at people to do it for me. At first I thought it may have been my husband but didn’t think he had the time to do it before he left for work that morning. So naturally with only one other person living in our home, I knew it had to be my daughter. When she came home from school that afternoon I asked her about it and she told me that she was the person behind the clean house.
In that moment it wasn’t about the fact that she cleaned the house, rather it was that she took care of my need without me having to ask for it. I could see the delight in her eyes as I told her how much I appreciated it and gave her a big hug. This is an example of both of us being vulnerable. She was vulnerable in that she wanted to do something that would make me feel loved, which I received. On the other hand I was vulnerable to let go of my obsessive need to make my family do as I think they should, because its what I want.
I know this doesn’t work out every single time, but when it does it’s so good. How do you need to let people care for you? What’s stopping you? What will happen if you allow others to care for you? What will happen if you don’t? This isn’t about being right all the time. I would much rather be happy than right. Perhaps it’s time for you to let go and accept that you are worthy of being cared for by someone who loves you. Maybe they want to cook a meal for you, clean up for you, take you out for a drink or just have some of your time. Whatever it is that makes you feel like you have to control it, it’s likely controlling you. Maybe it’s time to try a new approach. A little refining and polishing may be needed so that you can see that you are enough and you deserve to receive care from time to time. Lean in, trust your gut and even when it feels a little scary, because it’s new, expect to be pleasantly surprised.