“I bet they know.” “Are they looking at me?” “I wonder what they’re thinking? Am I too fat, too bold, too noticed?” “I should probably not look up, maybe they won’t notice me.” This is the constant battle some women fight on a daily basis. They live in shame with their past and are ashamed to face the world with confidence because they believe they do not deserve anything good. They, we, are living with a scarlet letter. Can you relate?
A lack of confidence and negative self talk can lead to prophecy. Meaning, change the way you think and your life will change. I can totally relate to these self thoughts and living in fear most of my life. Always feeling like I wasn’t good enough or that my past limited my future. Honestly, it wasn’t that long ago that I finally saw the light and believed that it was for me. I have met countless women all over the country who hide behind the scarlet letter that they have accepted for their lives. Here’s a bit of advice for you, “The past is in the past, you can’t change it so move on and change the things that you can.”
Let that sink in for a moment. No matter how much we may want to go back into the past or change the past, the truth is we can’t. What’s done is done and we need to accept the fact that we are the only ones who see the scarlet letter in the mirror. Yes that’s what I said. What you may think is so obvious to others is in reality, not obvious at all. Let me explain this concept with an example.
When a painter looks at a canvas he doesn’t see a blank canvas he sees the masterpiece that he is painting on that canvas the painting he has imagined it to be. As he begins each brush stroke he feels the satisfaction of his masterpiece come to life and is happy, content and proud. Not in a boastful way but in a way that he knew what that blank canvas was as soon as placed his eyes on it.
Does that make sense? You are a fantastic creation so hold your head up and smile. What ever happened in your past, regardless of if it was your fault or not, it is in the PAST. So you have two choices.
- Live miserably in the past.
- Embrace the life you have and learn from the past.
You don’t need to be ashamed of being beautiful, smart, talented or fit. For making bad decisions or for not listening to your gut. You’re human. I totally get the feeling of shame but it is a HEAVY weight that will weigh you down or you can choose take it off your neck and look ahead to tomorrow. If you identify with feeling like you are wearing a scarlet letter, please know it is important for you to do a little soul searching. The only way to free yourself from that feeling of shame is to explore it a little bit. Maybe you’ve heard the saying, “the past repeats itself”? The statement is true, which is why you need to take an introspective look and determine some of the root causes of why you feel the way you do.
If you don’t want to repeat the patterns of your past and want to be free from your scarlet letter then learn. Learn how to live different by putting up better boundaries in your life. For me I have, and am continuing to learn that there are certain people and places that I don’t need to be around. There are situations that I can eliminate by having the right people in my life holding me accountable and choosing not to go to certain places or go to those places alone. It may sound trivial or childish but without boundaries in our life we are leaving room for trouble. I choose to be in charge of what trouble I want to invite into my life, thus I have boundaries and standards that help guide me to a place where I can have confidence. Boundaries aren’t the only perimeters that you need, you also need a plan. You may be doing everything right and life throws you a curve ball, if you don’t have a plan it is likely you will revert to your old patterns of the past, rather if you have a plan of who to call or what to do when those curve balls come you can move through the situation without fear.
Perhaps its time for you to remove the scarlet letter you have been living with and put a smile on in its place. You have every reason to smile. It is a process, but one that you can live with, go ahead look in the mirror and love that beautiful woman hiding behind the scarlet letter.
Hi there, I’m Heather and I really appreciate you taking the time to visit my site. I am passionate about helping women avoid, or recover from identity crisis. I also enjoy working with women recovering from domestic violence and helping them see their worthiness and reclaiming their life. What’s better than seeing women reach their goals? Helping them get there and being part of their journey. Looking forward to serving you the best way that I can and working with you to get the very best from your life, why you ask? Because I believe that you are worth it! Want to learn more? Of course you do! Subscribe to the website so you don’t miss out on special offerings and message me at Heather@dragonflydirection.com to find out more about how I can help you get the most out of your life and keep you on the path to reach your true authentic self.